Well, it’s about that time of year again. It’s that time for folks to make resolutions. Resolutions give us an opportunity to dream and plan about the future. We also have the opportunity to start the New Year right and make good on our intentions. Plus, I think it’s fun to make resolutions.
Last year I set some resolutions and I’m happy to say that I achieved all of them. I started 2011 with three kids and as of yesterday I still have them. My hard-core drug usage is still at an all-time low. Base jumping, skinny jeans, and deep V-necks are not a part of my life either. 2011 was a good year. I consider last year as kind of a warm up for this year. I made all of my resolutions quite easy. I adhere to the old adage that if you set the bar low enough you can leap over it without breaking a sweat. And goodness knows breaking a sweat is the last thing I want to do.
This year is different though, I don’t want to just set those easily achievable goals. No, instead, this year I am going to set a combination of easy and hard resolutions. But I don’t want to do a lot of hard work if the world is really going to end… So I’m striving for mediocrity in resolving this year. It’s more of a middle ground kind of thing, but I think it is better to challenge yourself, just not too much.
So, without further ado, here is my list of New Year’s resolutions.
1. Watch less television this year. Research shows [note: do some research on how bad TV watching is] that watching TV is bad. I’m sure it rots your brain or something terrible. Therefore, I’m going to watch less of it. But, I hear it’s a bad move to just stop doing something. Instead you have to replace bad habits with good habits. My solution – Watch more movies! Movies are like TV but I’m sure they are better than brain rotting TV. So, I’m going to watch less television and more movies. So excited!
2. Stop procrastinating. I procrastinate a lot when I finally get around to it. But not this year, I’m changing my procrastinating ways. You might question this resolution since I’m writing my resolutions on the 6th of January. But I’m happy to inform you that this resolution is for 2013, so I’m actually 11 ½ months ahead of schedule. Mission accomplished.
3. Grow my arms longer. (This is one of hard ones.) My goal for 2012 is to grow each arm at least half an inch. I’m not sure how I’m going to do this one but I do know that if you want something bad enough it will happen.
4. Spend less time on the computer. I spend a lot of time on the computer. From social media to biblical studies, the computer is a big part of my life. I’m sure that spending time on the computer is bad for you, much like watching TV, so I’m going to spend less time on that infernal machine. Fortunately, I’m getting a new phone in a week or so and this resolution will free up my time for that. These resolutions are already paying off.
5. Teach Owen how to ride a bike. (another hard one) I taught Bethany how to ride this year. It was hard and involved me saying things like, “you’re ok,” “don’t be a baby,” “you have lots of blood left,” and, “it’s perfectly normal for your elbow to bend both ways.” But after lots of tears and gnashing of teeth Bethany loves riding her bike. Now, I need to teach my youngest progeny the art of riding a two-wheeler. I’m sure it will be tough but I’m up to the challenge. I’m not sure who you need to pray for more, me or Owen… just to be safe, pray for both of us.
There you have it, my resolutions. What are your resolutions?